It’s Time to Redefine Your Definition of Failure

So many of us get stuck in a hole because we have failed or are afraid of

Dealing with Failure

failing. What do we do? We stay within our boring little comfort zones;  stay sterile & safe —in life, in career, in journeys, in love. We can’t fail then, right?

For a long time, I was incredibly afraid of failure. I always listened to what other people told me to do & abided by the rules set for me; didn’t dare to consider deviating from the path that was expected of me. Unbeknownst to myself, I was deeply afraid of anything new, different, unexpected, unplanned. I was afraid of having to make decisions for myself & failing. In short, I was afraid of the unknown.

But, little did I know I was already failing myself. (If you don’t try, you’ve failed before you begin!)

Failure does not mean diving headfirst into the unknown & emerging

Cat Missing the Ball

‘unsuccessful’. Failure is to not embrace the unknown at all; to stay home. True failure is to allow your deepest desires to be stymied by uncertainty & fear.

It’s time to stop being so afraid of mundane failures. A life without failure is a life without love & growth. Let’s redefine what failure actually means.

Failure is not a grade:  To fail a test is not a failure, it’s a learning

Failure is a Learning Experience

experience. To be ‘let go’ from your job is not a failure, it’s an opportunity to reassess & grow in a new direction. To start a business that yields little profit is not a failure, it is a lesson. All of these things can be unpleasant, but they are not failures.

The only failure that exists is a life not lived because you’re afraid to fail. When you don’t trust your inner instincts, when you don’t embrace who you are, you’re failing. So, allow your individuality to shine through.  Live authentically. If you’re apologetically you, you may stumble, but you’ll never be inauthentic. Your only job on this earth is to be you. Be true to that purpose.

Allow yourself to fail:  We all have small, mundane failures;  In reality, we

Don’t Quit! Success will Follow.

should call them hiccups. We may take a few steps backwards, but there is always learning, growth, a glimmering lining. If we don’t sink into the mire of “failure” & succumb to negative thinking, any hiccups we have are fleeting.

In the face of failure hiccups, be bold & fearless. Start a business, a podcast, a dance company.  Self-publish a book. Return to school. Take your first boxing class. Go on a multi-day hike by yourself. Let yourself free fall into small risks. Yes, you’ll probably be unsuccessful a handful of times. But if you don’t give yourself the space & opportunity to fail at something, you’re already failing. Every small hiccup in life allows us to grow. The more failure hiccups you have, the richer & more diverse your life will be.

Regret is not failure:  We all have regrets in life. I would know, I’ve

Get Up & Do It Again!

plenty, but I also know that all the things I regret have served a greater purpose. I’ve learned a lot about myself through my failures & regrets, even though it wasn’t always in the most pleasant of circumstances. If you regret something, something you feel that you failed, it doesn’t mean your entire existence is a sham. It does mean that you should look a little more introspectively. You should delve into your regret to understand it, to accept it & to let it shape your future. While it isn’t prudent to dwell in the past, our past hiccups & missteps have carved our unique paths in the world. Be grateful for your past failures & understand them. They have made you into the beautiful, evolved person who sits here today.

Every single one of us has experienced failure. Our failures are something

to be embraced, not feared.  Continue to persevere. Take risks. Live with authenticity & intention. Every small hiccup of failure you experience is a positive sign that you’re fully embracing this crazy ride we call life.

This is a good read, & anyone with self doubt should read this. I’ve been riddled with self doubt most of my life; & I have been very afraid of failure. Now, out of necessity, I need to make this work. You can do the same, whatever your reasons are…

Be Like the Zen Frog. Keep Going